Church of the Jelly Bean

One day, Billy was walking to the store, when he came upon a monkey. He paused for a moment, blinked, and then said, "Mr. Monkey, why are you on the road?" The monkey gave Billy a strange look and then did a little monkey squeak. Billy looked around to try to figure out where the monkey came from. He started to search a little bit until he found a penguin. Billy gave the penguin a strange look, for he did not expect to find a penguin in such close proximity to a monkey. He looked back at the monkey, and then again at the penguin. Suddenly, the monkey came running at him. Billy jumped to the side, but he tripped and fell to the ground. The monkey then stopped and looked at Billy before shaking his head and saying, "Billy, why are you trying to steal my penguin?" Billy blinked and shouted, "Holy Turkish Onions, you can talk! And how do you know my name?" The monkey giggled and said, "Of course I can talk. I'm a magic monkey from Russia." Billy thought about that and said, "Oh, okay. Well, that makes sense. Do all Russian monkeys talk?" The monkey responded, "No, only magic Russian monkeys." Billy scratched his head and asked, "What makes you magical?" to which the monkey simply pointed at the penguin. Billy blinked and said, "The penguin made you magical? How?" The monkey said, "Oh, he fed me Cheetos." Billy nodded his head for a moment, but then he stopped and asked, "Why did he do that?" The monkey responded, "Because I asked him to silly." Billy then got confused and said, "How did you ask him to give you Cheetos to make you magical if you were able to talk only after becoming magical?" The monkey then got a bit nervous and shuffled his feet and coughed. He started to say, "Umm…" but could not think of anything more to say. So then the monkey ate Billy. The moral is, don't talk to monkeys you don't know.

Long ago, a princess lived in a far away kingdom with her friend, Mr. Bunny. The strange thing about Mr. Bunny was that he was a hamster. People would often ask Mr. Bunny why his name was such. Always, he would simply smile at them. The other hamsters that lived in the castle always used to make fun of Mr. Bunny, but he did not care, for the princess loved him dearly. The cruel little hamsters did not know an important fact about Mr. Bunny. At night, he transformed from ordinary hamster to… Ninja Bunny! Mr. Bunny protected all of the little hamsters despite their mockery. He also always made sure to protect the princess and her family.

One night, the little hamsters hatched an evil plot to harass Mr. Bunny. They attempted to sneak out of their room even though the mommy hamster had told them time and again to never leave at night because the evil ferret could get them and eat them. The hamsters were going to go and play a trick on Mr. Bunny, who lived in the princess's room. They were nearing the room when suddenly a huge shadow came over them. They immediately came to a halt and looked up, only to see the face of the ferret. He grabbed one of the hamsters and was about to eat him when suddenly, Mr. Bunny came flying through the air out of nowhere, crashing into the ferret's stomach. The ferret knew of Mr. Bunny's mad ninja skill, so upon being struck by Mr. Bunny, he departed from the area immediately.

The hamsters were very thankful and knew that their savior had been Mr. Bunny because his ninja headband read, "Mr. Bunny." Go figure. So these once cruel little hamsters cheered for and thanked Mr. Bunny, and they never tried to be mean to him or make fun of his name again.



stories poetry reviews	The Magic Monkey By Michael Cook One day, Billy was walking to the store, when he came upon a monkey. He paused for a moment, blinked, and then said, "Mr. Monkey, why are you on the road?" The monkey gave Billy a strange look and then did a little monkey squeak. Billy looked around to try to figure out where the monkey came from. He started to search a little bit until he found a penguin. Billy gave the penguin a strange look, for he did not expect to find a penguin in such close proximity to a monkey. He looked back at the monkey, and then again at the penguin. Suddenly, the monkey came running at him. Billy jumped to the side, but he tripped and fell to the ground. The monkey then stopped and looked at Billy before shaking his head and saying, "Billy, why are you trying to steal my penguin?" Billy blinked and shouted, "Holy Turkish Onions, you can talk! And how do you know my name?" The monkey giggled and said, "Of course I can talk. I'm a magic monkey from Russia." Billy thought about that and said, "Oh, okay. Well, that makes sense. Do all Russian monkeys talk?" The monkey responded, "No, only magic Russian monkeys." Billy scratched his head and asked, "What makes you magical?" to which the monkey simply pointed at the penguin. Billy blinked and said, "The penguin made you magical? How?" The monkey said, "Oh, he fed me Cheetos." Billy nodded his head for a moment, but then he stopped and asked, "Why did he do that?" The monkey responded, "Because I asked him to silly." Billy then got confused and said, "How did you ask him to give you Cheetos to make you magical if you were able to talk only after becoming magical?" The monkey then got a bit nervous and shuffled his feet and coughed. He started to say, "Umm…" but could not think of anything more to say. So then the monkey ate Billy. The moral is, don't talk to monkeys you don't know. Ninja Bunny By Michael Cook Long ago, a princess lived in a far away kingdom with her friend, Mr. Bunny. The strange thing about Mr. Bunny was that he was a hamster. People would often ask Mr. Bunny why his name was such. Always, he would simply smile at them. The other hamsters that lived in the castle always used to make fun of Mr. Bunny, but he did not care, for the princess loved him dearly. The cruel little hamsters did not know an important fact about Mr. Bunny. At night, he transformed from ordinary hamster to… Ninja Bunny! Mr. Bunny protected all of the little hamsters despite their mockery. He also always made sure to protect the princess and her family. One night, the little hamsters hatched an evil plot to harass Mr. Bunny. They attempted to sneak out of their room even though the mommy hamster had told them time and again to never leave at night because the evil ferret could get them and eat them. The hamsters were going to go and play a trick on Mr. Bunny, who lived in the princess's room. They were nearing the room when suddenly a huge shadow came over them. They immediately came to a halt and looked up, only to see the face of the ferret. He grabbed one of the hamsters and was about to eat him when suddenly, Mr. Bunny came flying through the air out of nowhere, crashing into the ferret's stomach. The ferret knew of Mr. Bunny's mad ninja skill, so upon being struck by Mr. Bunny, he departed from the area immediately. The hamsters were very thankful and knew that their savior had been Mr. Bunny because his ninja headband read, "Mr. Bunny." Go figure. So these once cruel little hamsters cheered for and thanked Mr. Bunny, and they never tried to be mean to him or make fun of his name again.


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